Today I am making a choice...

This week I had a coaching theme that seemed to really resonate with my clients. It was centered on the phrase:

“Today I am making a choice…”

Society is very much focused on instant gratification. The mentality of “I WANT IT ALL AND I WANT IT RIGHT NOW “ is celebrated, taught and championed by many. Often time’s major decisions and life choices are made from that belief system. Choices that make us feel good today, without much regard to long term consequences, are the norm.

I asked my clients to change their perspectives. To think differently in each choice they make, be it simple daily decisions or life changing events.

Rather than considering how it made them feel in the moment think about how it made them feel long term.

Where do they want to be 5, 10 even 20 years down the line? Does this choice support that vision or is it incongruent to that future ideal? What would the LONG TERM consequences of either doing or not doing the action; or making or not making the choice be? Does the choice resonate with values and life goals?

This idea came to mind as I thought about my grandmother and her recent death. She lost her battle to Alzheimer’s disease in January. In the final stages she had been admitted into a full care nursing facility. My father called and suggested my sister and I go see her, there was not much time left.

I like many others feel apprehensive about nursing homes and dread visiting them. I am overcome by the hopelessness when I walk through the door. As positive as I am, I am unable to see past the sense of impending death that overtakes me when I walk through those doors.

When I got to my grandmother room there was little left of her, I said my goodbyes and left, quickly. It was a very sad and stressful experience. Not just due to her condition or the nature of the facility, but also due to the choices that lead my grandmother to this home.

I went home and immediately chose to sooth my pain with food – I am a stress eater. When I am upset I comfort myself with food. So I ate my way through the pain of that experience.

Yet, through her illness, her death and her funeral as I nursed my wounds with chocolate and potato chips I felt an underlying sense of discomfort.

I thought of both of my grandmothers and how their lives ended in nursing homes, with pain and loss of dignity and I thought of myself, I do not want to end my life as they did. I did NOT want to give up my health, my dignity, my independence and my privacy. They both chose to disregard the ideas of healthy lifestyle choices; they chose to eat what they wanted regardless of consequence and had very sedentary lifestyles. Even in their former years, after doctors advised them to make changes, they did not.

However, I had a choice. My choice was simple – forego the instant gratification of eating to feel better! My choice is to live a healthier lifestyle.

My choice is to fully commit to exercising on a daily basis.My choice is to be a healthy person who does everything possible to have a life that ends with dignity and control.

If I did not think of long term consequences, it would be easy to justify a few weeks of an unhealthy living, even though that few weeks often turns into a habit and then, a life style.

Yes, everyone has set backs, that is the nature of challenge. However, if you approach each challenge with not only that day in mind but also future consequences it is clear to see that in the moment…YOU HAVE A CHOICE.

Each day…when I wake, I start my day by saying…

“Today I am making a choice…”

When I face a challenge, feel like eating junk food, feel like procrastinating, I think of that phrase and it reminds me of my end goals.

Think of this when you make your choices today in all that you do.

Do you really have to make that purchase right now? Are you not being truthful because you’re afraid of the responses and possibilities of people not liking you? How does that chocolate affect your long term plan? Will 5 minutes of your time to make a phone call to a friend really take so much away from your schedule? Is it a good idea to skip walking tonight because you feel tired and grumpy? Is that argument really worth the anger in the grand scheme of your life? Does not doing that task resonate with your goals? Is watching another episode of CSI going to get you any close to your goals?

Will this moment be important 5, 10 or 20 years down the line? Your choices have consequences, remembering that helps you to make the best of every situation.

Today…you have a choice!!

Overcoming fears - October 23, 2007

I am writing this from the White Mountains in New Hampshire. I wanted to tell you about my experience here as it pertains to you and fears. Talking to people about getting over fears is easy. Motivating you, telling you how to try and tackle them, its an easy thing to do, I am good at motivation...I do it well.

As does everyone, I have my fears as well. One of my greatest, a fear of heights. So, for my birthday, my gift to myself was to tackle that fear and use this moment to motivate my clients and speak of getting over fears from experience, not just from research and books.

Yesterday, I tackled my greatest fear. I did a hike that accended 3000 feet in 2.8 miles to the ridge, the very top, of part of the Presidential Mountain Range in N.H. Franconia Ridge one of the highest points on the east coast.

I hiked and climbed over two mountain ridges to the very last mountain, Mount Lafayette, another 1000 foot accent, to 5240 feet in the air.

It was the hardest, scariest, craziest, MOST AMAZING thing I have ever done. At that height I had a 365 degree view of mountains, mountains in Vermont, Canada, Maine and New York. It is by far one of the most gorgeous view I have seen in a long time.

The hike was only 8.9 miles but because of the difficulty and the constant scramble over granite rock it took eleven hours. When we first reached the ridge...after a grueling 2.8 mile climb...I stood at the top, on one of the only true alpine mountain tops on the east coast, looked around...and cried. I couldn't stop. I was crying...because I couldn't believe I had actually made it up there. I cried because the view I was looking at was breathtaking I couldn't help myself. Also I cried because I had tackled my biggest fear...and it had been so worth it.

The reward was so much greater than not trying and feeling safe. I am reminded that chances and risk taking, and being afraid but facing it head on gives you the biggest, most honestly earned rewards.

Being scared is incredibly human, everyone is scared of something. Tackling that fear...is astonishingly human. It shows the best of us, it makes us feel the way we always should, amazed to be alive, and even more amazed that we CAN DO the things we really want to do.

When I did this hike there where many times when I thought...I can't possibly take another step, I am so tired, I can't do this. BUT I DID...I pressed on and no matter how hard it was....I moved forward.

I had to take a lot of breaks, many people passed us on the trail while I was sitting down, breathing heavy and building the strength to go on. At one point a woman passed me and said,"Slow and Steady, and you'll finish the hike."

And that's it...the key to achieving anything, TAKE YOUR TIME, set your own pace, take as long as you need ...BUT KEEP MOVING FORWARD and.. you will FINISH. You will reach your summit and also be reminded that the long hard climb was so worth it.