“Today I am making a choice…”
Society is very much focused on instant gratification. The mentality of “I WANT IT ALL AND I WANT IT RIGHT NOW “ is celebrated, taught and championed by many. Often time’s major decisions and life choices are made from that belief system. Choices that make us feel good today, without much regard to long term consequences, are the norm.
I asked my clients to change their perspectives. To think differently in each choice they make, be it simple daily decisions or life changing events.
Rather than considering how it made them feel in the moment think about how it made them feel long term.
Where do they want to be 5, 10 even 20 years down the line? Does this choice support that vision or is it incongruent to that future ideal? What would the LONG TERM consequences of either doing or not doing the action; or making or not making the choice be? Does the choice resonate with values and life goals?
This idea came to mind as I thought about my grandmother and her recent death. She lost her battle to Alzheimer’s disease in January. In the final stages she had been admitted into a full care nursing facility. My father called and suggested my sister and I go see her, there was not much time left.
I like many others feel apprehensive about nursing homes and dread visiting them. I am overcome by the hopelessness when I walk through the door. As positive as I am, I am unable to see past the sense of impending death that overtakes me when I walk through those doors.
When I got to my grandmother room there was little left of her, I said my goodbyes and left, quickly. It was a very sad and stressful experience. Not just due to her condition or the nature of the facility, but also due to the choices that lead my grandmother to this home.
I went home and immediately chose to sooth my pain with food – I am a stress eater. When I am upset I comfort myself with food. So I ate my way through the pain of that experience.
Yet, through her illness, her death and her funeral as I nursed my wounds with chocolate and potato chips I felt an underlying sense of discomfort.
I thought of both of my grandmothers and how their lives ended in nursing homes, with pain and loss of dignity and I thought of myself, I do not want to end my life as they did. I did NOT want to give up my health, my dignity, my independence and my privacy. They both chose to disregard the ideas of healthy lifestyle choices; they chose to eat what they wanted regardless of consequence and had very sedentary lifestyles. Even in their former years, after doctors advised them to make changes, they did not.
However, I had a choice. My choice was simple – forego the instant gratification of eating to feel better! My choice is to live a healthier lifestyle.
My choice is to fully commit to exercising on a daily basis.My choice is to be a healthy person who does everything possible to have a life that ends with dignity and control.
If I did not think of long term consequences, it would be easy to justify a few weeks of an unhealthy living, even though that few weeks often turns into a habit and then, a life style.
Yes, everyone has set backs, that is the nature of challenge. However, if you approach each challenge with not only that day in mind but also future consequences it is clear to see that in the moment…YOU HAVE A CHOICE.
Each day…when I wake, I start my day by saying…
“Today I am making a choice…”
When I face a challenge, feel like eating junk food, feel like procrastinating, I think of that phrase and it reminds me of my end goals.
Think of this when you make your choices today in all that you do.
Do you really have to make that purchase right now? Are you not being truthful because you’re afraid of the responses and possibilities of people not liking you? How does that chocolate affect your long term plan? Will 5 minutes of your time to make a phone call to a friend really take so much away from your schedule? Is it a good idea to skip walking tonight because you feel tired and grumpy? Is that argument really worth the anger in the grand scheme of your life? Does not doing that task resonate with your goals? Is watching another episode of CSI going to get you any close to your goals?
Will this moment be important 5, 10 or 20 years down the line? Your choices have consequences, remembering that helps you to make the best of every situation.
Today…you have a choice!!
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