Catching up

Catching up

A few weeks ago I had a week of life changing the experiences with clients. All came to their coaching sessions needing to speak of life altering changes that happen to them or loved ones around them. We spoke of coping skills and strengths and how to view change with a positive mindset. We spoke how to discuss change with others in a sensitive and eloquent nature. We spoke about small steps, about open hearts and minds, and of vulnerability, of fear and of bravery. All of them left their sessions with plans in place and more centered view on change.

I know the conversation will now turn to… how do I catch up?

Life change takes time. Births and deaths, sickness and health, breakups and new relationships, fear and anger, learning how to be brave, learning how to make space for life all require time. This is time we don’t put on our to-do lists, time we don’t have that in our schedules. This is time that is demanded of you in the moment and a necessity of life. You are not given the choice of when or where it will happen. You’re not giving the choice of how or why it will happen… it just happens. Sometimes it happens so abruptly that you have no choice but to devote all of who you are to the change.

And so the question is…how do I catch up?

And the answer is simple. You do not catch up. The idea of catching up is the sticking point. Life is not and will never be perfectly planned and so you have to change the way you look at these life changing situations. You cannot look at them as interruptions in your schedule or interruptions in your to do list you have to look at them as a reality of life. The positive way to approach these changes is by dealing with them in the best manner possible, spending the time necessary to do so and then moving on. Do not do well on what you’ve missed or what you haven’t completed.

Schedules, life lists, goal lists and to do lists are not set in stone. You have to be adaptable and ready for anything to happen at any time. Catching up in theory sounds fabulous but in reality is unrealistic. It is much better after an emotional or traumatic event to come back to your life with a fresh new attitude, to not think about what you missed, what you forgotten to you or how far behind you are instead think of how you can start again. Make a new list; make changes in your calendar, cross some things out and to move some things around.

A successful and happy life includes adaptability. You have to be able to adapt to the given moment in that moment without looking back with regret at what you’ve missed or left behind. Instead look forward to what you can complete now. It’s all about concentrating on now.

The next time you feel frustrated by a life event that has disrupted your original plan don’t dwell on it just make a new plan! When you have some time, sit quietly and reevaluate what you can realistically accomplish and move forward.

Support and Life Coaching

I found out today that my last name in the international dictionary means support timber. It is of Germanic origin and was used in reference to mining tunnels. The definition describes the main support timber that kept the mine from caving in.

At first I was slightly disappointed by the meaning, as we all want our last names to have some poetic significance but as I thought about it I decided it was perfect. As I think about the meaning, a support timber, I see this wonderful hand-hewn beam made of some beautiful German oak tree, very rich and golden. It really is the perfect name because in reality that’s exactly what a life coach is… a support timber.

As a life coach I am here to support you. I’m not a main part of your daily life however my existence helps you to stand stronger. I am that quiet partner that offers strength when necessary.

I ran across the meaning of my last name completely unintentionally but now am so glad that I have. I love the idea that the origins of my last name are so appropriate.

What is the lesson here? As you all know…there is always a life lesson in my blogs. It’s kind of like watching the Brady bunch, I may a ramble on for a bit but you know at the end there is always going to be a moral of the story.

The lesson is…don’t assume you know everything there is to know about yourself, there is always something new to learn.

I had no idea that Stull had a significant meaning in my life. Now that I do, I admit, it puts a smile on my face.

You will continue to learn fabulous new things about yourself on an almost daily basis. Keep your mind open and look for the little, seemingly insignificant facts because when you explore them further they may turn out to be important pieces of who you are and who you’re going to become.

Bravery in "Life Sized Moments"

While driving today I heard a newscast about the death of Paul Newman they had a short clip from one of his movies “Nobody’s Fool”. His character was a grandfather speaking to his grandson about bravery. I haven’t seen the movie and am not sure of the context of the clip, however in the movie Paul Newman’s character was trying to teach his grandson about how to stand up to bullies and the advice was perfect.

Learn to be brave a little at a time. He taught his grandson to be brave for just 1 minute, 1 minute goes by quickly and a puts less pressure on you. The next time you need to be brave you do it for 2 minutes, and then slowly you become braver during many parts of your life. What a great way to overcome fear, be brave for short controlled times.

I teach life sized tasks to my clients and workshop attendees and this is very similar. Instead of tackling fears or difficult moments with all the bravery you can muster you tackle fears in small life size moments. You aren’t just brave, you learn to be brave. There’s a huge difference between the two. When you’re just brave you are only brave in that moment, it does not become a piece of who you are it’s just a moment in time. When you learn to be brave you are adding bravery to your toolbox of life.

That’s a very important distinction. When you’re working on growth you want to have authentic experiences and not forced moments. Forced moments are easily forgotten, authentic experiences you draw upon time and time again.

Learning to be brave in life sized moments can apply to any attribute you’re trying to make part of your daily life. Learn to be patient. Learn to be more truthful. Learn to be more out spoken. All of these can be done in the same manner, in life sized authentic moments, each which add to who you are and help you become the person you want to be.