Catching up

Catching up

A few weeks ago I had a week of life changing the experiences with clients. All came to their coaching sessions needing to speak of life altering changes that happen to them or loved ones around them. We spoke of coping skills and strengths and how to view change with a positive mindset. We spoke how to discuss change with others in a sensitive and eloquent nature. We spoke about small steps, about open hearts and minds, and of vulnerability, of fear and of bravery. All of them left their sessions with plans in place and more centered view on change.

I know the conversation will now turn to… how do I catch up?

Life change takes time. Births and deaths, sickness and health, breakups and new relationships, fear and anger, learning how to be brave, learning how to make space for life all require time. This is time we don’t put on our to-do lists, time we don’t have that in our schedules. This is time that is demanded of you in the moment and a necessity of life. You are not given the choice of when or where it will happen. You’re not giving the choice of how or why it will happen… it just happens. Sometimes it happens so abruptly that you have no choice but to devote all of who you are to the change.

And so the question is…how do I catch up?

And the answer is simple. You do not catch up. The idea of catching up is the sticking point. Life is not and will never be perfectly planned and so you have to change the way you look at these life changing situations. You cannot look at them as interruptions in your schedule or interruptions in your to do list you have to look at them as a reality of life. The positive way to approach these changes is by dealing with them in the best manner possible, spending the time necessary to do so and then moving on. Do not do well on what you’ve missed or what you haven’t completed.

Schedules, life lists, goal lists and to do lists are not set in stone. You have to be adaptable and ready for anything to happen at any time. Catching up in theory sounds fabulous but in reality is unrealistic. It is much better after an emotional or traumatic event to come back to your life with a fresh new attitude, to not think about what you missed, what you forgotten to you or how far behind you are instead think of how you can start again. Make a new list; make changes in your calendar, cross some things out and to move some things around.

A successful and happy life includes adaptability. You have to be able to adapt to the given moment in that moment without looking back with regret at what you’ve missed or left behind. Instead look forward to what you can complete now. It’s all about concentrating on now.

The next time you feel frustrated by a life event that has disrupted your original plan don’t dwell on it just make a new plan! When you have some time, sit quietly and reevaluate what you can realistically accomplish and move forward.